Photobucket I have said to much

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Its a Good Bye

They Dont Love ya...

Like I love ya

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I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and put back on,but yet,I need that feeling of total

weightlessness,so I keep that feeling other then the one that feels like I have everything thing on me.Its over.Chi-Chis is over,and yes it makes me so sad,but it feels good.I can relax now.I can spend time doing the things I never had time for,like walk the dogs more,take a LONG bath,a LONG shower.My life seeems as though I have all this time for myself now.It feels like I can enjoy myself.I can RELAX.And it feels good.

++Dont Build Your World Around

The Volcanos++

I went up to Joeys today after cleaning at work...just for a beer.Yea.Seems as though I have more friends then I ever thought.These people that I only say Hi to once in a while,bought me beer,I spent nothing,even my tip was taken care of which was so cool.People who only knew OF me,bought me a beer,seems they know me,but I have no clue who they are,I just nod and say thank you,maybe because I have bought them a beer once before,I have no clue.One guy even handed me a joint and told me to save it for when I needed it.I was overwhelmed,maybe its not money,or something i could really use,but they know that I could REALLY use what they gave me and that was cool.People knew that I worked my ass off,and when and if they came into work...I never treated them any different,yet this guy that came in once with his girlfriend,asked me if he knew me,I told him where I hung out,and he said that that is where he knew me from....only once did he come in,he bought me a beer,said I was an awesome server and then his girlfriend bought me one,and said she was sorry.Its funny how you take care of people and in the end...they take care of you.

~MAPS~

Im going to miss the people,miss my family,miss what I have only known for almost 5 years,miss the people that has known what I have gone through,it makes me feel as though I HAVETO start over.I HAVETO have a different life.And I dont think that Josh understands....at all.

I haveto explain to him that I never got a chance to heal,to relax,to think about shit,to be on my own,to do whatever.This is my chance in getting my life in order.And I am sorry.If it means that I cant be with him like he wants me to...I am sorry,I need to straighten out my life and this is the only chance I have at being happy,and thats all I need right now..

6:31 p.m. - 2004-09-20

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