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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Selfishly Sick **Dont fear the reaper** It sounds like Josh is not really mad at me,but upset.I havent seen him in a week,and there isnt much I can do to help that.He wants to help me and I understand that but he cant help me,because there is nothing to help me with.I tried to have him understand that I need to take care of Ty by myself,there is nothing he can do to help me,that I exhaust myself out when he is not feeling well.That I cant worry about someone else worring about where I may be at 3 in the morning,or that I am up walking around.I didnt want him to be a part of it all,and maybe that is being mean,but I do it much better on my own.Less things on my mind maybe?I dont know.My house is sto small,and he would say that that is only an excuse,but its not.I have never liked anyone to come over since I have lived here.Its to small.I have no where for any one to sit....even him.When Tyler is sick,he lays on the couch,I squeeze by him,I dont want Josh sitting on the floor,which is always full of dog hair,its not him...its me.And we see each other when we can.We see each other as much as we can,and I knew this would happen,where he gets upset because he cant see me for a week or a couple days in a row.I cant do much about it.My child is sick,I dont want Josh here when Ty is sick.I dont need him here because my house is to small.He is allergic to my family,and with my luck,he will get sick too,and he cant afford to get sick.And maybe I am being selfish,maybe he is...but I think neither of us really are,I think we both just haveto understand each other and to deal with it. ~~SELFISH~~ *taking care of oneself without regard of others* 9:57 p.m. - 2004-08-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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