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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- awaking to Barcardi So I told Josh tonight not to talk to me...I said Bye and hung up.Fuck it.I REALLY needed to talk to someone tonight and no one was there,,,,,not one damn person.And I thought that he would at lease listen....wow..I was wrong.I was stupid..once again.I slept til 5:30 today only to wake up to go to the store to buy some barcardi.And I only woke up that late cuz I took not one but two valuims and for all I care.....fuck everyone who says they care cause really..if anyone cared..they would be talking to me right now...making me understand things ....trying to make me feel better.And who do I have really?MY CHILD.He understood today,he told me that it would be alright.I have a fucking 10 year old.That is what I have.And if Josh wants to talk to me..then he can call me.I have great feelings for him...maybe feelings of love....who knows,but I needed someone tonight and he wasent willing and I have yet to think of that.Planned Parenthood called me today,seems as thouhg my blood count was low and all I can do is wait for a sign...funny how I will just sit here and wait.Its even more funny how I am done waiting for things and wish it would just either come or go.I dont know what else to do anymore. 3:23 a.m. - 2004-06-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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