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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- being\"there\"in the future I went out with Amanda last night,only to maybe"see"something.We were at this bar when this black lady comes up to me and tells me that she can read my fortune,and she gave me this"sample"reading....somewhat.She told me that I have no friends HERE.That the friends I think I have arent my friends,that they are jealous of me and bla,bla,bla.After I made her leave me alone,I watched Amanda through out the night.I watched her with her "new"friend Kevin,I watched her watch me with her new friend..I watched her get mad at me,I watched her get mad at Kevin.I felt as though I wasnt allowed to talk to him,that I was just there so she wouldnt haveto go by herself.That I wasnt there to talk to anybody,or to draw attention on myself.I was just there,and because I was so drunk I kept asking her if she ever looks at me with hate.This stupid lady got me so worked up for the rest of the night.it was funny because before that,before the lady..I felt it.I felt like I was just there at the first bar we went to.So becuase of all this,I am making a promise to myself.I am done.I am done going out so much and I know I have said it more then enough times,but I am tired,tired of going out,tired of feeling like shit when certain things happen,tired of feeling like I am just there. 9:48 a.m. - 2004-04-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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