Photobucket I have said to much

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a short goodbye

I took Josh to the airport today.He looked back at me before he walked through the doors,and I wanted to tell him that you should never look back.But it was to late.I had so much fun with him.We went to the movies,we went out to eat,we did nothing,we did something.I mean,it was fun.And now,well...now I haveto get use to being alone again.Now I haveto get use to doing nothing by myself,and I guess its okay.But he spoiled me when he was here,and I am not sure if I can sleep well yet,I am not sure if I can get back to doing nothing by myself.I am not sure if I want to.I want to play"pretend" and act as though its okay,I want to act as though he is still here.I think its dumb to play "pretend".I think its dumb because I shouldnt haveto want certain things that I cant have.I should only want the things that I can have,and I cant have what I want right now,so why even bother?

4:30 p.m. - 2004-01-10

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