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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just leave me alone.....PLEASE Kyles mom called me,something about a"get together"at the funeral home,something to maybe remember Kyle by?I am not sure what it really is.But she called me to see if I wanted to go,if I could make it...I cant.I cant go because if I go,that would mean connecting back with her,that would mean,more issues,that would mean more depression.I want to go,I just cant.I cant go and that bothers me but its for my own good.And I dont haveto remember Kyle by going to the god damn funeral home,the place where I last saw him.I remember him by my memories,my thoughts,my visions.I dont need to be around people who will be crying and talking to me.And you know another thing,she probably didnt invite any of his friends.She probably didnt even tell his dad,not that he would fly here and come to it...but thats not the point.I cant go to whatever this thing is.It will just be a begining of something new something old,something I know I cant deal with because I have already dealt with it.And she made it harder for me.Anyways why the hell would I want to go to that stupid funeral home?That awful place where I last saw my baby laying there?Why would I want to bring those memories to the front of my head?No...I dont think I will be calling her back.I think I will just continue to do what I have been doing,which is really nothing,but its something to me.I think I will just continue to be by myself and let my memories stay with me forever,let my mind be at ease,just do whatever I can do to heal. 7:24 a.m. - 2003-11-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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