Photobucket I have said to much

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Come get me please

** your the reason I break

down and cry**

My appointment went as well as it could,

I told my doctor why I was there,he listened,asked me a few questions,told me to hold on and he left the room.All the while,I am sitting there waiting for someone to come in the room and take me away.And I was scared.I was scared because he left me wondering what was going on.So he came back in,and once again,I am on zoloft,and valiums.He told me that I had to go and get counsling,and that he wanted to see me back in 2 weeks,4 weeks,and 8 weeks.I went to my car and cried.I sat there and looked at my prescription and cried.I never thought that I would haveto be on valiums,legally you know.I dont know,it all seems to much for me...everything ,even being on shit,even though I knew I needed it.And to top it all off...I had to pay for my medicine which was 60 bucks,gee,Im glad I have insurance through work.I am so broke,I have nothing to my name anymore,and I cant seem to get back up there.I am struggling right now to pay my phone bill,I havent even started saving for my rent yet because there just isnt any money.And Christmas?Good luck for all that.I think it cant get any worse then this.I was at work for 9 hours yesterday and made 40 bucks,I useto make 100,and I cant just go and find another job because I have been doing that and theres nothing here,nothing at all.My life seems to be falling apart more and more and I keep trying to fix it but it dosent want to be fixed or something because it just aint happening.And I need a friend or two right now really bad.I wish Josh was here so I could talk to him,or at lease call him and just let it all out.

I dont know what to do anymore about anything.It seems to me like my life is never going to get back to where it was and I cant deal with it.I cant deal with it at all.

5:06 p.m. - 2003-11-13

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