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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please...just go away **Just like a pill** Today I am going to make an appointment. I am doing all I can to stop me from thinking about doing it but I know in the back of my head,that it is going to get worse.I can feel it.I can feel something coming,its a feeling of pure helplessness,sadness,hopelessness,you name it,its coming.I feel the depression,and I think its going to be something I wont be able to handel.And I am afraid.Im afraid to even make that appontment,Im afraid to tell my doctor how bad I really am.I am afraid that maybe Im crazy...I dont know.And to make matters worse,my parents are putting their dog down today,its a good thing,dont get me wrong,she has cancer,and she is in alot of pain,but I cant deal with it.I sat by her last night for a while,kissed her,told her I loved her and that I always will,and all she did was look at me and kiss me.That was hard.Everything is hard for me,even the littlest things are getting hard for me,like brushing my teeth,getting dreesed,I would love nothing more just to lay in bed all day long and do nothing but sleep.Just so I dont haveto deal with anything,just to make it all go away.Just so I dont haveto face another day of feeling like this. 7:13 a.m. - 2003-11-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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