Photobucket I have said to much

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early morning thoughts

**And words say everything**

I wrote a letter to Josh again,this time I let my mind just go at it and I know half of the letter was confusing but I am still going to send it anyways.I feel like I haveto lean on someone.Someone other then Amanda,other then Mo,someone who knew Kyle as well as I did.I bought a huge daisy sticker for his envelope,and its funny how I like to decorate peoples envelopes.I think it brightens up peoples day when they get a letter in the mail,with stickers all over it and glitter glue,and I take pride in doing it.Its my only hobby,and it takes time to do it.I worked last night,first Tuesday night I have worked in like a year.And because I worked,I wont see Ty until after work on friday.Work has been so slow that I had to work.I made 32 bucks last night and was there for 5 hours,I still cant pay my rent,isnt that just stupid?I work all these hours and have no damn money and I am getting faustrated.I am soon going to call the district manager,and tell him how our whole management staff is alcholics,how no one is ever around to help.How all they want to do is sit in the office and smoke and talk.How there are the favorites and how I am tired of all of it.Im also telling him that when he does come,thats the only time anything is done right.Call me a nark,call me whatever,this is my job,this is my job that isnt paying my bills anymore all because my mangement is forever hung over.Its funnyhow I could go out,ger drunk as hell,sometimes even stay up all night and still go into work,early everyday,and still do my job.Am I better?Maybe...then again maybe I am just a better alcoholic.Which brings me on that subject,I havent been drinking really.I havent even been going out,instead I come home,see whats on my non cable tv and do some situps and go to bed.Maybe its because I have no money to buy beer,maybe its because I just want to be normal,then again maybe its because I have no need to drink anymore,or maybe im just tired of it.

6:57 a.m. - 2003-11-05

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