Photobucket I have said to much

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Things to do,things not to do

** she got out of town**

I know this guy Frank,seemed alright to hang out with every once in a while,hes an ex skinhead,said he changed all that shit,so tonight I log on to messanger,and see that his status says"living in urban decay,thats the american way"what the hell is that?Now it took me a long time to even understand it,me being stoned and all,but when I did fgure it out,I didnt like it,it actually scared me to see how much someone can hate.I mean this guy hates people,he is one racist motherfucker and I am not about having that kind of shit in my life.And now Im kindof scared that I know him,and that he likes me,becuse that guy has some hate in him,and thats just scary as hell to me.I will admit that I am a bit racist,Kyle was as well,and him being a white power freak growing up,me being not,we both turned out only semi-racist.This guy is way bad,so now I dont know what I should do,like ignore him real bad or just somewhat bad so he kindof gets the picture,this guy is fucked up,so it all gets kindof confusing on what to do ya know?

** And this is how you remind me**

My body has been feeling like its gotten beaten up lately,I keep breaking out probably due from stress and I am getting fat so life is not good right now,but I am gonna change things.Im gonna stop being so stressed out and Im not going to worry about shit,even eating..i havent been taking care of myself lately and since I know Im not pregnant,theres no reason to feel like this.I feel like sleeping all day long and not even going to work.I guess depression dosent have to be a sad thing,I mean shit,at lease you can get alot of sleep and lose some weight.My light was on this morning.I smiled.Hes here again.Hes here when I need him the most,kindof funny how hes here when I am actually home.When I am out and about,getting drunk coming home,and just passing out,he dosent let me know hes here,but when I am home doing that,hes here,he shows me that he is.I see him as watching over me,he knows that I dont haveto go out,I do it to get away.And I cant do that anymore.I cant ignore everything by going out and being fucked up all the time.He wouldnt have wanted it and thats why he makes sure that I know hes here with me,when I am sober enough to realize it.And that makes me want to stay home more,because I am home with him,

10:55 p.m. - 2003-10-27

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