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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"perfect\" ** I can see right through to you*** My boss told me tonight that I am the most sane person he has ever known.That came as a shocker only because I dont think that he thinks I am.But he says I am,and that how I act is what makes me sane,that I just do what I want and say what I want and that people can only take so much kindof thing.I also told him that not all women in Racine look for assholes or are with assholes,that I had a great guy,one of a kind,and thats why I am not about the whole boyfriend deal.I missed him so much tonight.I sat there at the bar just saying all these things about him,wishing he was here,wishing that when I left the bar,I would take that "perfect"route to my home.Crawling into bed with him,trying not to be all fucked up,but yet,knowing that he knew I was,and listening to his breath.Just laying there spinning and listening to him breath and so I wrap my arms around him and then my legs even though I knew he would so called bitch at me in the morning,telling me how fucked up I was and how I was all over the bed and him....but yet he loved it.He loved it because he knew.He knew that I loved him...regardless of how fucked up I was.I loved him and that is all that mattered,because that is all he ever wanted to feel...to be loved.And I gave that to him ...all the time.I gave that to him and he gave it right back to me.....all the time.And I knew that,regardless how fucked up he was(ha ha)He would take that same"perfect"route home,and lay there the same way i would and just know.Just know that I loved him,and that was all I ever needed...to be loved,and he knew that... he gave that to me.He knew.And that was all that ever mattered....to both of us.That was all that mattered to both of us and that is what made us "perfect"And that is why I know that no one...no one can fill his shoes.He made me "perfect".He made me feel loved,regardless....regardless of what he may have done,or said,he always made me feel "perfect".And I did the same,I made him feel so "perfect".Because he was.He was "perfect"because that is what I felt.He made me feel those "perfect"feelings.And god damn it ....I did the same.He could come home and tell me anything and yeah,sometimes I would get angry,but only for the moment.Only for the moment because he told me......that was "perfect"He told me,and that was "perfect". He told me and that is all that mattered.Because you could do no wrong,because you didnt haveto.You didnt haveto because it was"perfect" Because you were people..you had to make mistakes,you had to make mistakes because that is what people do.They make mistakes and when you love someone...there are no mistakes because everything is "perfect",you dont see each other as people,you see each other as one.And that is why it is"perfect".Bcause you dont have to see each other as people and see all the mistakes.You see each other as one,and you,being your self,knows.You know that you have made mistakes,and you never thought that they were mistakes.Because you have learned from them.And so they werent mistakes.So you see yourself as one and not "just a person"and thats why it is so "perfect".Because you know.You understand.You know the feeling.And why try to make it into a mistake?Why not just say it,and see?And see if it was a mistake?And if it was....why not correct it?Why not make it all "perfect"?Why not make it all "perfect"just so you know?Just so you know that it is "perfect"?And god damn it,why take that all away,when it was all so fucking "perfect"?- 2:23 a.m. - 2003-10-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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