Photobucket I have said to much

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I hate......me

My dog got hit by a car last night.They just hit him and left him,fucking people,fucking niggers.Thats all that lives around here too,so I know it was one of them.I had to bounce a $500 dollar check because of getting him checked out,and I will haveto bounce another one on Monday when I take him to his regular vet.I have no money what so ever,I am now what you call completely broke,and I cant even pay my rent.I took 2 valiums last night cuz I really needed them,I REALLY needed them.Skynyrd will be alright,he might have a broken pelvic,she wasent sure because of how the joint is dislocated,and she couldnt get that joint in and that is why she thinks it might be broken.And I cant fix it,I can not fix it at all,and she said that it would be okay that he would just walk with a limp.I have never been broke like this,my whole life,I have never been broke and now,I dont even have 5 bucks to my name.I am done.I am done with all this partying bullshit,I am done with all the bullshit period.I am not going to go out anymore,not like I have been at lease.Mark called me this morning at 6 am.He was all fucked up,and he was kindof proud that he smoked some weed instead of other shit...I was proud too.After Kyle died,it all went down hill.ALL OF IT.I am now a alcoholic who drinks all of it away everyday,I have no insurance and my ear has been clogged for 2 weeks now,but i cant do anything about it because I couldnt pay my insurance cuz I have no money.,I love my pills again.I flip oiut all the time and should have some sort of medicine,my period never came back so thats odd,and Im sure that I am going to end up doing something that I will forever regret.And over all...I fucking wish I was dead.I wish I was fucking dead cuz I hate myself that much.

12:43 p.m. - 2003-09-28

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