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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Click click?? I went out to Buckets last night with the boss and manager but ended up leaving with the cook Eric to go to a different bar.My boss told me that I have to many male friends...that I might give them the wrong idea.I totally disagree with him.What I do is my buisness...that is why I dont hang out with people from work.All they do is gossip and shit.Anyways,so I left with Eric after he said that...maybe to give him something to talk about...maybe to just do it,who knows,who cares.I dont think that I give anyone the wrong idea,I usually tell them straight out that they wont be getting some ass from me.Or I tell them that I dont sleep around.Theres a guy who comes into work every Monday,I think he likes me,its kindof noticable...anyways,hes not bad looking,hes got his own house,and of course because he has his own house..I should go for him,you know?Everyone thinks so,what everyone dosent understand is that I am not a bitch.I dont care about those things.Those things such as money and cars and houses.I care about how someone may treat me and what they have to offer me that isnt a material thing.Anyways,I think I am going to slow down on the drinking.I think I haveto before my liver goes.Its like if I gotta be home on my day off...I haveto drink.Instaed of spending good time with my child,I sit on the computer and drink,while he plays video games.I dont know why I think this all of a sudden but I want to be better,I dont want to get fucked up all the time.Its not like I sit there and get all fucked up when I am at home with him,but I HAVETO drink.I will save my drinking for when he is not here,and if for some reason,I cant do it,then I know I have a problem and I will haveto do something about it I guess.My life has fallen apart,got back together,fallen apart and so on,and it hasto stop.Also I haveto start getting some money.And it seems like ever since my life took that wrong turn,I have no money.I dont even think I can pay my rent yet,which really sucks becaue I should have more then half of it by now,and I dont even want to know if I do.I dont know if something clicked in me or not,but its time to say "fuck everyone"and worry about myself,and if I get screwed over,then let it ,so I will go back doing what I useto do and just be by myself,just be with my dogs and my kid,and leave it like that. 6:50 a.m. - 2003-09-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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