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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thinking of maybes Have you ever felt as though your life might be okay but its really not?I just got off the phone with Josh.Yes,he finally called me,and I am happy that he did.I told him that I have been hanging out with Mark,he says that he is worried about me now.He says that he dosent understand why I would hang out with him since Kyle never really did for a while.He says that everyone kindof went their own way because of the fact that some people cant grow up.He told me to be careful.Josh knows Mark better then me,but then again,Josh hasent been around so he dosent know....but then again,neither do I.I dont know if people are capable of changing if they dont think they need to.I dont know anything at this point. I belive Josh,I belive him because he has his shit straight,he has nothing to lie to me about.He can cut off all ties with me in a heartbeat...but yet he didnt even when I thought maybe he did,and he only wants to look out for me...I guess.But so does Mark in a way.I think I need to just come out and ask Mark if he is bad.Ask him what he wants out of this friendship.Ask him why people are concerned about me hanging out with him.I just haveto come out and say things to him that maybe I thought I wasent going to say.Maybe I think I can change the whole fucking world,maybe the whole world is to big of a job for me. 11:27 p.m. - 2003-09-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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