Photobucket I have said to much

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trying to change

I keep saying how I am going to do this and that with my life,and I havent even started.I thought I did.I got all my stuff for school,and guess what...denied.I am denied financial aid for some reason and I dont understand why.I am not one to want charity,but I know that I can not pay for school.There is no way and yes,I know there are people out there who pay for it when they cant afford it.But I simply can not do that.I haveto be home sometime for my child.I cant work 12 hours a day and still pay for school,rent,bills.I dont know what I am going to do.I really wanted to go...I really was going to stick with it.Just another thing that is going down hill for me right now....what else can go wrong?I have been doing nothing but drinking.I need to stop,I dont want to be a drunk anymore.I mean,sure it is fun once in a while,but I have been doing it alot,and I cant do it anymore.I feel way to old.I have been having a rough time with everything and it is starting to show.I dont give a shit about certain things and I am going to say what I want to say and act he way I want to,if no one likes it,I make sure that they know I dont give a shit.I dont know why I am turning out like this...it is not me.

9:45 a.m. - 2003-08-16

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