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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Being Careful I went on a motorcycle ride last night with Jeff and some other friends of Kyles.I now understand why Kyle loved riding his cycle so much.I kept wishing that he was the one driving other then Jeff.I felt weird being out with Jeff because he is all about getting some ass,I dont know if he would ever put me in a situation like that though.I kept telling these guys that I am not like that,and it seemed like Jeff was getting mad.He should know that I am not a whore,he talked to me many times when he lived next door to Kyle,me and Kyle partied with him before,he knows me so he shouldnt think that I am different in any way right now.I feel safe around Kyles friends usually,I dont know about him though.I am sure that he would never mess with me.But then again,I am not positive and I haveto be careful.My car is so screwed up,I think the transmission is slipping,which is not cool.If Kyle were here he would make sure that I used his car,but I have no choice other then to drive it way out by work and back.I thought that by taking a second job I could save money,I guess I was wrong and will haveto use the money to get my car fixed or whatever.It gets harder each day for me to realize that he is gone.I stared at his picture last night for a long time and just got myself upset.Its so hard to love someone and to keep on loving them when you know that you cant ever express that love to them anymore.All I can do is continue to love him,talk to him,give myself fake hugs from him,put fresh flowers on his grave,and sprinkle my pixie dust on him.But that is not enough for me,I dont think it ever will be 12:17p.m. - Aug,6.2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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