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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the start of one huge black cloud The love of my life took it to far,he died saturday morning around 4:30 a.m.I woke up and touched his arm,and it was so cold,so I covered him up,I laid there for a spilt second,noticed how weird the room felt....still.nothing moved.I put my arm around him,felt his stomach,shook him twice i think,kindof jumped over him,and shook him again,screamed his name and ran for the phone.There will never be words to describe what was going through my head.I knew he didnt need cpr,but I was going to try anyways until I roleed him over and saw his face.Oh god,his wonderful face,his beautiful face.I cant tell you how I feel.I feel nothing,I feel everything,I want to go home,to his house,I dont want to go home.I want him back.I want him back,I WANT HIM BACK!!!I dont want to start over,I was going to have a future with him,he was my one and only,he was my fucking world and I am burying him today.Today I get to see him get lowered in his new home.Today is it,today is reality.Today will be the last time I ever see him again.I will never feel him again.I am not sure what road to take after this.We had a fucking future together,I know we did.Everyone has told me that they knew he loved me,that they could see how happy we were ansd how happy he was.Why?Why me and Tyler?Why leave us alone?Whos going to watch out for us now?I hope my baby is flyin high,I hope he is watching over me and Ty and I hope he can make me strong for my sons sake,cuz this is hell that I am in,and I dont think I am coming out for a while,my world crashed around 8:30 saturday morning,the same time my heart broke.I love him so much,so much,it hurts so bad. 5:27 a.m. - 2003-06-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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