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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a little bit of this a little bit of that She might fade away ******************** Had a bit of misunderstanding with Kyle the other day.I ended up getting to his house at like 4 am,he found some numbers and left me not a really a nasty note,but somewhat.Anyways,I ended up calling him about it,but you know it was so weird,cuz when I saw that note,I was so mad,kindof like a "im not doing this kind of shit"mad.I even debated if I should call him or not and explain things.The numbers werent even for me really.And I understood that I shouldve called him,but anyways,I was surprised that he didnt trust me.I never did anything to him to betray that trust.I didnt understand why,you know,I still trust him after the whole deal before,why wouldnt he trust me?I called him...straighten things out.It was just this huge misunderstanding.I ended up drinking for like 81/2 hours...yes I guess I can be a drunk,getting little sleep,and waking up to that.I was so hungover,and I hardley ever get hungover.I vow not to do that many shots and smoke that much weed ever again.And then to hang out next door to some so called palm readers house was quite freaky.I had fun though hanging out with this chick at work though. I wanna get lost in your rock n roll ```````````````````` Kyle took me to a whirlpool suite the other night.We were both pretty trashed, think he was a little more then me,it was so cool,I had lots of fun with him.He bought me some flowers too the other day,surprised me,he hasent done that stuff for a while.Not that it matters...but it does in a way,I think.Sometimes when you realize that you lack those kind of things,it makes you feel like the other half has been lacking something.Its weird how I think things like this,I mean,I ALWAYS see a way around things,it makes it easier like that sometimes.I had a wonderful time though at the hotel,my guy is so beautiful,he is amazing and wonderful.He keeps saying that he is getting fat,I dont think so,I think he is hot as hell from top to bottom.I understand the whole body image deal though. I want to get away I want to fly away ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I thought I heard gun shots last night,what the hell is that shit?I have lived in this neighborhood my whole life just about ,and never would I have worried about that shit.Its time to go and real soon.There is no fucking way im going to let my kid ride his bike very far,or let him do what all the other kids do.Im not sure how I am gonna do it and get out of here,but I will do what I need to and get out of here.I made shit at work today...12 bucks.How stupid is that?I snapped at my boss again today.I wish I couldve took summer classes,just to get out of there faster. confusion never stops ###################### I wrote Kriss a letter the other day,made me think about taking a weekend and visiting her.I dont know,sometimes I feel lost without friends while other times,I just dont care.It sucks to want to call someone,but have no one to call.I call Mo alot,useto call Kriss alot,things just change I guess when you get older.Kriss and I were always e-mailing people,calling each other,now I think we both know that he will never actually hang out,so why keep whining about it to each other?I think we got along great together cuz of that.We are loners,we dont mind having a friend or 2 but we are alright by ourselves.It just gets boring sometimes.Mo is back from Flordia,Ben got fired,so now they are moving back in October.I will totally miss Mo,she is such a great person,I dont know if they move back for sure,or if its just something they are thinking about.It will suck though to see her move.Until next time......rock on 3:30 p.m. - 2003-06-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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