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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I dont know who I am He came over this morning.Told me that he said things he shouldnt have,but that I probaly already knew that.Went to work,she comes in and asks me if I am going to flip out like I did yesterday.Then she tells me that she told me she can get any guy without trying.This was my friend?I get sick just thinking about it,and thats all I do is think about it.I dont think I care about the other shit...its the fact that he HIT on her.Where is that trust going to go now??If you dont have trust you have nothing.I dont fucking know what to do.I want to forget about all this,but this hurts.It hurts so bad,and its not getting easier.I am not feeling good at all today,cried myself sick I think.And its still not stopping.I mean,I have no friends here now...none that I know of...nothing,no one to call and talk to,no one to go to breakfast with,no one.I have a boyfriend who I trusted so much,who I thought would never do this to me,who I thought fucking loved me.What the fuck do I have?I have my god damn computer whos my best friend,who cant even help me.I have a child who has no clue that I am constantly crying.I wanted to take him sledding today,but not sure if I will.I dont feel well...i really dont,I am so upset,and I cant even stop thinking of this crap.I was told that I look sad today,by the one cook at work,we never really talked like that before,he said that my eyes are not happy,and that he always notices peoples eyes cuz his wife is the same way.So I cried.I cried and told him that I am going through some shit right now,and I hope it gets better.Once the tears start they dont stop at all neither and that sucks.I wish I could quit that place.I wish I could go away.I wish I could make it all go away.I wish it didnt hurt to love someone.I wish I never even fell in love...things were easy then.I wish my tears would go away and never come back.I wish I wasent such a mess. 1:50 p.m. - 2003-04-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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