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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- smile its love Kyle leaves in a couple days,and truthfully,I already miss him.Isnt that crazy?I have never felt so "in love"before.The thought of not seeing him for a week is just making me sick to my stomach.I am going to miss holding him and smelling him,seeing his smile,touching him and everything else.God,its driving me nuts.I have been needing to get laid for the last couple days but I get into bed and I am asleep within minutes.I hate it when that happens.And I know that the period is coming soon,so I hope I dont get it before Kyle leaves.I wanted him so bad last night,but I was so tired.I know that shouldnt be an excuse,but really I dont think I could of fucked him even if I tried.I had no energy.I hate getting to the point where I can just sit there looking at him and fantasie about him.When that happens all I think about is having him inside me,and getting off more then once.Hes the only one that can take that feeling away,for the time being.The vibrators dont work the way he does.I am so happy that I have this guy in my life who not only makes me happy but can satisfy me sexually.Sex isnt evrything,but in a realtionship,it does mean something.I mean,I wouldnt want to be with someone for there rest of my life if I had to go to bed most of the time hanging.A friend of mine is having a sex toy party and she wants me to go,I just emailed her for the date,so if I see Kyle tonight,I am going to ask him what I should get.See how I cant stop talking about sex?I love my guy,I am so glad I have him. Im startin to trip Im losing my grip ++++++++++++++++++ My dad just informed me today that as of July 1,he will be out of a job.He put 35 years into that company and they just fuck people.I feel bad for him.Not to much for my mom,I dont know if thats bad or not,but she makes me think about myself.I am not going to haveto depend on just my husbands income.My mom bitches about alot of crap.She has a pimp car,a nice house,nice things,she has gone on some of the most nicest vacations,and she bitches.She didnt get those things on her own,my dad gave it all to her.I know that as a husband,he should be able to,but in this day in age,the husband should be able to depend on his wife as well.It should be a shared thing.Thats how I know that I am going to stick with school.I want to be able to give nice things to my husband without having to depend on him in order for me to do that.It makes me think alot.I mean,I dont know if Kyle wants that type of commintment with me,but I know that I want that with him,and I say that cuz I think alot about the future with him,how things would be and just things.I have never felt so much love as I do with him,I have never felt so comfortable with anyone like I do with him.And also I have never looked at someone like I look at him.I think about him all the time.I always hope that he has an easy day at work.And I will always stand by him no matter what.I know that I will always love him regardless of who he is and what he may become.Wow,I was jys looking through an old notebook,and found Kyles number,it made me smile to know that I once had to write it down but now I have it in my head.Its so weird how I can fall into love with him all over again just by thinking of him or seeing him.Its funny cuz,Im at his house so much,and all he ever does when I am over there is sit on his computer,he hardley ever cuddles with me on the couch,come to think of it,he hardley talks to me while he is on his computer,but I dont care.Just being close to him warms me up.Its an instant smile.It feels good to say that I am in a relationship,and its great.No problems between us or anything,thers not alot of couples out there like that.I love being happy.Tyler signed him up as a "special person"at his school,so Kyle hasto go for the last hour and a half of school next friday and do something,maybe talk about work or something.It makes me happy to know that Tyler thinks like that of him.He couldve picked anyone,but he picked Kyle.Im glad that Kyle treats him good.I just hope that Kyle can get off from work.I think if he couldnt Tyler would be upset.anyways,until next time......rock on 5:43 p.m. - 2003-03-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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