|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the time is....4:20 I was so tired today,and it really sucked,I think i am going to get the period and that kind of makes me mad.I dont understand why we haveto get them.I mean,like we couldnt be "made"differently or something,just so we dont haveto have them.I hate when its coming cause i get all tired and i feel like i am 800 pounds....and that is not cool. You are beautiful ++++++++++++++++++ I am going out on thursday,maybe wedensday too,most likely both days.I am not sure yet,but when I dont have Ty,I usually go out.Speaking of my child.Dickhead called me at 7p.m,he knows that he hasto drop him off at 6,and last time he had him,I told him 6....its court ordered,so last night ,he totally yells at me,tells me im a stupid bitch,and I just said,I want my kid home and hung up...that was it.I didnt answer my phone after that.Why does he think he can continue to fuck with me?I can not wait til the day comes when Ty can tell him he is a piece of shit.I guess wedensday night,everyone except dickhead slept else where.Once again they were fighting.I know I put my own kid through it....but seeing my kid go through it from THIS view,is terriable.He was so much better when he didnt go over there as much.He was happy.Plus now this means hes bouncing through more homes.I cant wait til I get the money for a lawyer.It dosent matter to the courts if I say that he is a dickhead or not.....i need a lawyer,and I totally understand this,because I am not going to keep taking him to court,i shouldnt haveto.They should see that he is a dickhead...look at his records,all he has on there is domestic abuse,what the fuck?Duh.They dont understand that,that can totally fuck a kid up...I need to do so many things in the next couple months,I got to do the court shit$$$I haveto move$$$I haveto go to jersey$$$I haveto go to school,and because of all this,i haveto work more,which means if I haveto work more,go to school,and spend less time with my kid,I would haveto find a better paying job.Whew,that took a load off my shoulders. I keep closing my eyes, but a couple peek out ********************** My parents keep yelling at me about my Grandma.I know that I should visit her...I know this all to well,and I cant do it.Thats my grandma,My grandma who put pepper on everything,the one who never judged,I cant watch her slowly go away.I cant cry about it,I cant think about it.But I also know that I did that with my uncle and I feel so bad about it.I dont think that pain will ever go away.And I dont want to be like that with my grandma.It just rips me apart to know her as a whole different person then what she is now.It scares me to death.I dont want her to ever die,thats how much she means to me.And I know that one day it will happen. different music different mood. I have a feeling connie is going to call me and want to come over.Not that I care,but I want to watch my movie and I wont do it if shes here cuz then she will just talk.Until next time.....rock on 3:51 p.m. - 2003-03-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||