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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sleepless I couldnt sleep.I woke up feeling like I was going to puke and now I dont feel like sleeping.I am solo tonight besides my sick dog(poor thing..hes just a little guy)I miss Kyle tonight,I couldve went to his house but I aveto babysit in the morning and didnt want to rush around.I miss holding him and feeling him breath.I forgive him.I think being without him has made me realize that despite what he did,I want to be with him,I want to hold him,I want to watch him sleep,I want to see his smile.I am so much in love with him.I guess I have been hurt tons more,so who cares about this.....I think.I dont want to sound like I am stupid for thinking like that,but its alot better than getting knives thrown at my head,if I got over that,this is nothing then.Now if he ever threw anything at me then yeah....I think there would be a problem.But he was drunk,he was with a friend,I think I am starting to understand,thn again maybe I am not.Anyways,I know that I miss him tonight.I know that I have been distant from him these past couple days and its not fair to him.I dont want to feel like I haveto shut myself out when something is bothering me,I want to be able to tell him if he asks,but he never asks,so it kindof leaves me thinking what went wrong...all to myself.Overall I can tell him things,but its those things that make me cry that I cant talk about,and truthfully...I like to forget things.I dont want to remember bad things.I dont know...I do forgive him though,he said he was sorry,what more can he do?You haveto forgive when you love someone.Until next time...Rock on 1:07 a.m. - 2003-01-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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