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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- downoading my music(blabbing) I called Kyle today,left a message,he called back and asked why I called,I told him for no reason,he says"alright then,Bye"..I said "bye"And that was it.Thats weird..but funny in a way...I think...I hope.Anyways,I went out with Tiff and her boyfriend on Friday.I made fun out of Ken almost the whole night.Tiff was laughing her ass off,it was funny as hell.Then I was sitting there next to this old ass guy..he mustve been like 60 years old.Hes all nice talking to me and shit,all of a sudden he says to me,totally out of the blue,"you know theres nothing better then pussy on my lips"HA HA HA I just sat there,and said:are you talking to me,cuz I am not into this conversation"Tiff and Ken were cracking up.This is some old ass guy who was talking to me about the Depression and shit,and all of a sudden he says that...it was funny as hell.It was so nice to go out with someone other then John and Connie.If I wouldve known Ken was gonna be hanging out with us,I wouldve told Kyle to come.I dont know if he wouldve came but whatever. Family Portrait +++++++++++++++++ So I came home today only to find this note from the folks,it says that I get use of a FREE washer and dryer,Free utilities(which as always been part of the rent)and that I use them ? WHATEVER.My dad was all cool getting 600 from me this month,now he is talking shit about it...Oh and did I know that they even pay Tys life insurance?Yeah...only cuz they said that they would just so I would go to their insurance guy...God forbid me to pick out my own insurance guy. I ran away today ****************** So now I am going to haveto start working like I useto.I spent so many months working like I want to,but now I am going to haveto start working like I need to.I am planning to give my dad 600 a month until my debt to him is paid off.I owe him around 3600.Yeah that sucks when I thought it was like 800 bucks.So in 5 months I can get the fuck out of here.So that means,I haveto make at lease $200 a week,plus I get $180 a month in c.s.which brings me to 980,take 600 away = 380 for the rest of the month,I am sure I can do it,even at the slowest time of the year.I will haveto tell Kelly to scheadule me whatever but give me every other weekend off still.That will be my time with Ty then,I am going to find a babysitter though,something...not my parents though.I dont even feel like this is my home anymore,I hate spending time here.I feel like I am being watched all the time,and like I ll get in trouble for staying up so late.I think thats pathetic.I wish I never moved in here at times,I useto pay 550 every month,plus all the bills,and food,and still had money to do shit with.I sure fucked up when I quit that job,I never was happy second shift,but I wish I could do it now.If Tyler could stay home and be happy with the people hes staying home with,I would totally do it again.I dont know...I say that I would rather be poor,but shit,I sure do worry about going to school and not having any food for Tyler in this house.It sucks. Why do I look at all these things? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ So I havent had a smoke in 2 days now,and I can honestly say that I am going nuts.I went off my zoloft too.Might as well get it all done at once.I have been feeling so yucky too.I know that the period is coming soon,but I really feel gross,tommorrow is the day I start working out.No matter what.I haveto joined into a gym again.I miss working out but its so boring at home.I like all the stairclimbers,the bikes,the gliders,I loved working out!!And now I haveto start again,but at home...that really sucks.Anyways,I have off tommorrow,so I am going to the laundry mat to do my wash,just cuz thats one thing I can stop hearing about.All the time I was growing up,I was always the bad one,the one they picked on,and so what do I do?I give them the chance of becoming cool with me and they still do the same shit.I shouldve just stayed where I was.Well until next time.....rock on 6:40 p.m. - 2003-01-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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