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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have seen the light:) Well I am not taking those pills...I took one the first day and it got me sick as hell.I was so yucky all day that I felt like I was gonna puke,so I gave them to someone at work,which is fine with me.I have done alot of thinking these past couple days.I dont want to pop any fucking pills,and its so easy for me not to now,compared to last time.And for sure I am going to school next semester...I PROMISE .I not only promise myself,but Tyler as well,and Kyle.Kyle has been getting on me about my job,and everytime he puts it down,it makes things easier.He is right,my future is his future,which is our future.I want to have a good life with him,and he is so right about my job.It might take me a while to get through school,but I am doing it this time with no fucking around(like last time)I am also looking for a part time job until then.Although I like my job now,I need something different.I would still work a couple days during the week though,I dont think that I could quit 100%......yet.I know that I have said that I would get my life together a thousand times,but this time I know its different.I can totally tell.So I am quite happy with the way I am seeing things now.I just wish next semester would get here!!I want a family soooo bad,and I will never get that with my job and stuff now.I feel like such a loser sometimes with my job,and I hate that feeling so I haveto change that.I want to start a future with Kyle and I haveto get all this stuff going,and thats why I am happy with the way I am seeing things.I am doing this not just for myself or Tyler but all of us.Anyways,picked up Kyles christmas gift today....I hope he likes it!!I really didnt know what to get him.I have been working more nights,which is good I guess,the money has been good.Tomorrow will be 6 months for Kyle and I.I am happy about it.I am glad that I have him in my life.I hope he feels the same.I just can never hold him enough.Strange for me,I was never a touchy person,but with him,I can never squeeze tight enough!!Well Dan is getting Ty tonight,he always gets him on the 12th,for christmas gatherings and whatever.So until next time....Rock on 10:06 p.m. - 2002-12-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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