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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I love my man Kyle talked to me once again about his party,it really upsets me.I mean,he told me that he cant trust me cuz of his past...but I have never did anything to him,so theres no reason not to trust me.Anyways,so he was telling me all about what went on again,and of course I got upset,and told him that I didnt trust him worth shit.Which isnt true,I was so mad.He was sitting there telling me about how he was looking like an asshole at this party cuz these strippers wanted him to do this and that,but he didnt cuz he has a girlfriend.My thoughts on that is messed up.I mean,it never stopped him before,so why should it now?I was mad,I dont want to know...I dont need to know.I am better off not knowing.I dont think he understands that.My self esteem has always been low,I dont need it any lower by knowing what went on.I trust him with all my heart,I was just so mad that hes telling me about it again.He says he dosent trust me cuz of what happened with Rocky.What he dosent understand is that I had like 3 excastys in me,plus weed,plus primo,plus beer and whatever else.I would never do that shit again.Anyways,I love Kyle with everything I have,theres no way I would ever do anything to him like that.This is the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with.He is everything to me.I think about him all the time,and I never want to hurt him ...ever.He gets me worried alot.He is sniffing OC,which scares me.The shit is messed up,I dont want him dead on me.I am not goingto tell him not to do it,he is his own person,but it does worry me a great deal.I love him so much and want to spend forever with him,I dont want anything to happen to him.I skipped out of work yesterday,I didnt even call in.I dont care anymore.I need another job,my place is so ghetto,people can steal and all and not get fired.I am tired of not making any money there.Tyler comes home today...YEAH!!!He even got to go to Universal Studios.What a lucky kid.Oh yeah,nothing happened at court.Dan was so mad,he was being so cocky to the court commisoner.We were getting along just fine there.My dad thinks that this wasent Dans idea,I do.Well kindof.I think it was more Marys then his,but whatever.I dont think much will happen.We haveto go through medition again,and then go to court on the 26th of December...thats just stupid.The day after christmas.Well my goal today is to try to stay in my pajamas all day.I know its not a good goal,but so what.Until next time ....Rock on 1:23 a.m. - 2002-11-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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