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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hell If you think about it, some people are destined to do what they do. Well I think all hell has broken lose.I told Kyle all about how Connie knows where Johns girlfriend lives and I knew that Kyle would tell John,anyways,John told me that Connie said that I was going to go over to his girlfriends house and do all this bullshit.Now I dont remember saying anything about doing something,so Connie is so making shit up.Then I tell Kyle that he should see if john and his girlfriend want to go out on Saturday,he says that I am not a favorite on Johns list right now,cuz I know something that only I know....what is that about?I have no clue what the hell everyone is talking about these days.I am going to take a break from Connie for a while,and hopefully she wont talk shit to John about anything I have told her.I guess I kindof wish that I didnt say anything,that I just kept my mouth shut,but I am so tired of this John and Connie shit.Connie puts me in the middle,and I cant deal with it any more.I just hope that Kyle does not get mad at me for anything that has to do with those 2 people.I am so sick of hearing about them.Neither can be trusted,and truthfully,I am glad that I said something,cuz now maybe John will stop fucking Connie and be with one damn person.I am not going top say shit to Johns girlfriend about him screwing Connie on the side,but if his girlfriend is so great,maybe he should think about not talking to Connie anymore. You make me feel as though I am on top of the world.I have never been treated the way you treat me At first I was scared.I thought you were only there to hurt me, But as time passed,I knew that you werent out to get me.You wanted to know things.You wanted to know my feelings and my secrets,and thats when I knew I loved you. So I spent the last 2 nights at Kyles. Last night I watched him sleep for quite a long time.He is so cute when he sleeps.I cant stop thinking that something is going to go wrong with us the next couple days.It is scaring the shit out of me.I dont know what it is,maybe I just am afraid of losing him just cuz I know what the stupid physic said to my mom.I wish I didnt know that.My mom always does that shit to me.I tell her that I dont want to know, but she tells me anyways. All things are beautiful. Kyle told me that my breasts were nice the other night,that he loves them.That was so nice,no one has ever said that to me.It made me feel like a million bucks.I am so not lying,I was so surprised.It touched me though,it really did.I guess I just never had anyone tell me those kinds of things before,and it does make you feel different.I always said that I didnt want a romantic guy and blah,blah,but I do need that,and I want it.Kyle is not always romantic,but when he is,its great.I love it.I never thought that it would make a difference if a guy said nice things to me,but it sure does..I am finally going to see my band on Saturday night,I hope that they still rock.I am so excited to see them.It has been a while.Last time they played I knew that Dan was going and we werent really talking so I didnt want to deal with any shit.Tyler leaves tommorrow,I am going to miss him.I know that he will have fun.I dont know if I will ever be able to give him the chence to travel,so I haveto let him have the chance when I can.I am staying home tonight,I dont know if Kyle will be here or not,hopefully he will.I wont sleep if he isnt.And then I will just flip out and think that he dosent like me or something.God,I love him so much,and I know that he is the only one I have truly loved.I dont think that I loved Dan...I never thought like this before,never felt like this,I just never have experienced this kind of feeling before. Until next time...Rock on 1:34 p.m. - 2002-10-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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