Photobucket I have said to much

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

enough

I grounded Tyler yesterday for getting a blue slip.Kyle helped me with it though.He said that sooner or later I will tell him that hes my kid and that he shouldnt tell me how to raise him.I said that I wouldnt,and I wont.I have been so easy on Tyler and I know that.I always felt bad for him cuz of the life I gave him.I mean,I took him out of it but,I still shouldve left before he was born.I guess things happen,and I learned from them,but I know I need help with Tyler,and I want Kyle to help me with him.I want to spend the rest of my life with Kyle,I want to have kids,all of it,and if I wont allow him to be a part of Tylers life then it will never work.Its just so hard for me,I guess I am just way to soft...but I am doing better,I am sticking to this grounding thing.Dan started his shit again,I think he is jealous cuz of Kyle--O WELL.Dan asked me a while ago about Kyle and I told Dan that he is the one for me,and since then it seems as though Dan is being more of adick then usual.Also he told me on Friday that he shouldnt of never got married and all that--I told him that its none of my buisness and that I am not willing to be his friend.I thought it was funny,he just kindof sat there like"what?"I told him that I could care less what goes on in his life as long as MY son is not harmed.Then he brings up Rob and shit,and I was like,"first of all,I never loved him and I have realized that I dont think I ever loved you either"He said to me"oh whatever,so you spent 8 years with me for what"?I told him that I think it was cuz I was with him for so long and that I didnt know who I was anymore,he says"oh,but now you do"?I told him that I have changed so much that I am so happy with how things are,I told him that I love Kyle with all my heart and thats why I think that I never loved him,cuz now I know how it feels,and I sure didnt feel like that with him,he was so pissed for some reason.I dont care,I will continue to rub it in his face that my life is sooooo much better without him and that I have someone great in my life that I can talk to and share anything I want with.He is such an asshole,he acts like he can still boss me around,and I will admit that he could for a while but I am soooo sick of trying to be nice to that fucker,and he cant hit me anymore so why not be a bitch?I think I was always afraid of being hit again or whatever.He knew he had that power over me,and Sunday when he came over he had a pissed off look on his face cuz I couldnt find Tys backpack and then he got even more pissed when I told him that Ty could wear his play shoes to school.I love Kyle so much and I realize that he is only looking out not just for me but Tyler too,and I will not let Dan get away with anything anymore.Sunday was the last straw.Kyle kindof got mad at me,and I am not going to let him get pissed over Dan.So anyways,I havent had sex for a while...that sucks,but nature did its work and now its over so I told Kyle just wait til he wants some,cuz I sure am in need of it!I love having sex with him.I am comfy with him and maybe thats why,I dont know.He wants me to take some pictures of myself for him,and I dont mind that,I just want to lose a couple pounds so today I started working out.Anyways,I better go get my shit done...until next time...Rock on

11:31 a.m. - 2002-10-01

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry