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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feeling dumb I am sitting here being stupid...once again.I want to call Kyle but I feel stupid since I gave him that card.I knew that I shouldnt have given it to him til I was READY.I dont want him to say that I am moving to fast or something.I just fuckin knew that I shouldve just let things be.I sat there forever thinking,should I give it to him or not,and now that I did,I wish that I didnt.I couldve at lease GAVE it to him instead of being all dumb and hiding it under his pillow,what am I like 12 or something?Why cant I just tell him what I want to tell him?Why do I always haveto write things down?It bugs me so much that I can never say the things I want to say,regardless who it is too.Maybe I wasent brought up right or something.I mean my parents never really "talked"to me about anything.I even had to buy my first bra,most mothers would buy their daughters a bra but not mine.I never thought that my parents were that bad at bringing me up,but since Tyler got older,I talk to him about everything.Sex,drugs,lice,everything.My folks never did that with me,so they werent that great.I have noticed these things lately.I told Tyler the truth about Mary giving Dan those stiches.I am not letting Tyler go over there as much anymore,he comes home with dirty ass underwear and socks on,and tells me that he had no clean clothes over there.He dosent even brush his teeth.Kyle told kme that at 8 years old,he should do these things on his own,I agree,but the clothes are not his responsability.They probably dont even have a toothbrush for him over there.Okay well Kyle just imd me,and I am high as hell and I haveto do all these things yet before I go over there so ...........Rock on 7:16 p.m. - 2002-08-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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