Photobucket I have said to much

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A boring High

Kyle sent me a card in my e-mail a couple days ago,it was sooo cute.It made me smile all day long.He tried to talk to me the other night how thankful he is to have me in his life(once again)and I was like"okay dude whatever" He tells me hes trying to be "soft"and that dosent happen often,anyways,so the next day he sends me this card and I was just like--God he is so great.I have spent so much time with him and each everytime I am with him,I open up to him a little more.I love it.I can go over to his house,and sit there for the whole night while he is on his computer,and I dont care.Its kindof like,we can be normal,you know,we dont haveto cuddle with each other all the time,or haveto talk to one another just cuz I am there.Its great.I really belive that what me and Kyle have is awesome.Its just so cool cuz this is what I wanted.I had it once a long time ago and I love the fact that I got it again,and that I have it with someone who great.I never thought it could ever be like this again.I am worried about Kriss,she got date-raped the other night.Shes upset about it but shes not.I want her here.I want to help her out.She is the greatest friend of all time,and I dont want her to do something to herself.It stormed out tonight,it was so beautiful before it started cuz the sky turned like a greenish gray color and it looked so cool.I wanted to take a picture of it but didnt want to look like an ass standing outside of work taking pictures.I wish I could see the sun rise, not an all nighter kind of sunrise,where your still all fucked up.A sunrise that you actually get up too,I bet that would make you feel kindof refreshed,like its a beautiful day all day long because you will think about that sunrise all day long.I know it sounds fucked up,I have been talking some trash lately whenever I am high.I am going to stop smoking it so much.Well no,I will just stop talking trash....duh.Anyways,I have been starting to say things that I usually keep inside.I dont need to do all that!!I dont need people to know how I think.I was sitting at Kyles the other night stoned out of my mind,and he was on the computer and I was watching tv,and I was getting pissed off at this lady on tv,so here I am thinking out loud,I was like"yeah you fat bitch,thats why your husband left you"or whatever,and Kyle starts laughing,so then I start telling himabout this lady that pissed me off.I told Kyle that I need to shut up and he was like"I like listening to you"Yeah,okay,I talk so fucking much and it bothers EVERYONE I know,it even bothers me,but he will sit there and listen to me.Its funny cuz I was just talking shit to the tv all night.I dont know man,I am afraid of even thinking that I might be in love with him,but I dont know how to explain my feelings....still.Maybe I cant explain it,I have tried to explain it but its so hard.There are just no words to explain it.Its great.....ROCK ON

12:30 a.m. - 2002-08-02

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