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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heaven Kyle told me that I was beautiful again last night.He told me that I felt like heaven,that I felt better then heaven.Why is he saying all this to me?He dosent belive me about the whole Rocky thing.I tried to explain it to him last night but he wouldnt listen so I told him that he needed to be by himself and that I would go home,I put on my socks and my one shoe and he took it off and threw it and told me I wasent going anywhere.I thought it was funny...I told him that since my shoe is over there and I am here,I think he needs some time alone.It was funny though.He even laughed about it.We ended up having sex for what seemed like forever,and he was saying all this crap to me,and it was like I felt stupid but didnt.I mean,no one has ever did that stuff for me before.I now know that I have fallen for him and dont want to give him up regardless.He ended up passing out on me,so I got up,got some water and sat on his porch,and thought about alot of things.A couple tears ran down my cheeks,only cuz I am happy with him.Everything is great with us.He even said so.I like the way he is.I like everything about him.I just sat there until like 3:30 in the morning thinking about the future the past the present.Thinking about all he said to me,was it out of drunkeness?Did he really mean it?I finally went to bed and squeezed him,and rubbed his face for a while.It felt great.I woke up around 5 and stared at him for a bit and held his hand.I think I fell asleep smiling,I know that I was smiling when I closed my eyes.I havent been sleeping very well.I think I have to many things on my mind.Or it could be cuz its that time of the month again.I dont know.I want to say so much to him,I want to tell him so much but I keep holding back and it sucks.I dont want him to think differently.Not that my life has been totally fucked up,but just my sense of thought.I dont want to scare him.Until next time.....Rock on 2:11 p.m. - 2002-07-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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