Photobucket I have said to much

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Anal sex and beer

Happy late 4th of July.I went with Kyle to his friends house,I had fun,it was nothing big,but still alot of fun.My parents have been getting pretty mad at me.I havent spent a night at home now for like 2 weeks,and it pisses me off cuz its like I still fucking live at home,even if I pay rent and all that.I want to move so bad but shit ,theres nothing out there right now.Well I did something I wanted to do for a while last night,I feel kindof yucky now though,and stupid as hell.Sex for me should be experimental,and fun.I never was like that before and now its like hell yeah,Ill go and fuck you right in front of people.Anyways,so I did the whole anal thing last night---OUCH.I mean,maybe if I let him finish I would be okay to do it again,but it hurt real bad for a while and then I was just like"okay dude ,you gotta take this shit out"It was fun though,I am glad that I went through with it,but I still feel like a freak today--ha ha.God,I am so hungover today.As much as I drink,you would think that I would be hungover all the time,but this is my first time in months.I had alot of fun yesterday.I had to tell Kyles friends about how he fell asleep on me while I was giving him a blow job--HA HA.It was funny as hell,I was just doing my thing and all of a sudden he was snoring.What a guy hey?I really really like him alot and I am scared that its not mutual,you know,I dont want to get all hooked up on him cuz I know that its not going to last,pretty shitty to say,but its to good to last.I dont see myself having someone that I can get along with.With Kyle everything is great,but since I want it,it wont last,its one of those sorry ass feelings I have.I just want to be able to know that things will be okay and I want to settle down and all that but I cant ever seeing myself doing that.Guys arent like that these days,and if they are,then they are all about being serious,and having no fun and just being the big old bad "husband" and I wont deal with that crap.Well I better go and shower and clean my weed.I haveto go to my cousins graduation and I think it would be better to go high,aint I bad?Until next time....................

12:35 p.m. - 2002-07-05

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