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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shiny happy me Well I have spent so much time with Kyle these days and its great.I feel normal again,like I have someone that I can come home to and so on.Tyler has been with Dan now for quite some time,and I miss the hell out of him but then,I get to spend the nights at Kyles and get to know him better.God,I love being with this guy.This morning he left for work,I was still in bed,and he kissed me good bye,now most people would be like,"so what"but for me,it was great,it has been so long since I have had that "housewife" feeling and I enjoy it.When I lived with Dan,it wasent the greatest,but I enjoyed having someone to come home too and someone to kiss goodnight and all that bullshit,and I havent had that since Dan.I never thought that I could get that feeling back again.Kyle got me upset the other night,but I was drunk so it dosent count.He told me to go home and forget about him,I was hurt by it,I told him not to be all nice to me and then tell me that shit.I care about him,and he told me that he said that cuz he cares about me.And I do belive him.I guess he was just protecting me from whatever he has in his past,but the past is the past and no one is perfect.We all have skeletons in the closet,some talk about it,others dont.If I am asked I will,but my whole past with Dan,is still in hiding from alot of people.No one needs to know what I went through,what my child went through.Its hard to talk about,but yet when I do talk about it,it feels great.Went to the mall yesterday and sat at the bar and talked to Karin,I guess Dan was telling her how I am seeing someone again,and look at him,hes all getting married and shit,good thing she stuck up for me.Then Dans mom and Mary come in and Roxanne treated me like shit and Karin even said that she was uncomfortable for me,I just told her that I could care less,she is no longer my problem and neither is her fucked up family,she was all trying to throw it in my face about Dan getting married and its like"who the hell cares"he is still an asshole and I know that and I am happy as hell that he is out of my life,it took me a while but I am happy now with the choice that I made.All because Mary told me about how much of an asshole he is.HA HA,been there done that,and I will never do it again.Anyways,I am excited about this whole feeling with Kyle,but I am not going to get hooked on him,I will let my feelings go which ever way they want to go.Until next time........... 10:44 a.m. - 2002-06-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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