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Cops and Robbers

I feel totally unsafe.I feel violated.I feel scared.I am scared.My folks house got broken into this morning.We all should know that I live upstairs from them.So not only did their house get busted into ....but mine as well.I got home from Verns around 6:45,still a little bit tipsy,so I went back to bed.Now I cant remember excatley what time I heard the noise,but it was between 8:30 and 9:30.I laid in bed and heard a banging noise.Something like someone was banging on my back door,so of course...I let them abng.I wasent about to get up.Naturally the dogs started going nuts.I didnt even get up to shut them up.Instead I let them bark.Well after about five minutes,I started to get a bit pissed about the banging,so i thought maybe the mom was doing something.No she wasent.She was at work.The dogs were barking more then usual,but still...I let them do their thing.I go to work and all that stuff...call the mom...and she asks me if I heard any noise...well of course I did,I tell her that the dogs were going nuts and I thought that someone was banging on the door.She asked me why I didnt call the cops and that someone had broken in.I freaked.I still am.I was in bed.Upstairs while someone was rummaging through my my parents house.What if's went through my head.What if I did go downstairs?What if these people...this person came into my house?What if they shot my dogs and raped me...or killed me?What if...what if...what if?Now these burglars did not take anything.Nothing.Not the cash that was in my mothers jewlery box,not the scratch offs,not the crystals,nothing.
Oh...but they sure were looking for something.They went into my parents bedroom...which is directly under mine and went through their dressers,left the jewlery box on their bed,left my dads drawers opened.And I guess the T.V
and dvd player looked like they were going to be taken but wasent.All this happened while i was in my bed.And I feel guilty.Like why didnt I see what the hell all the noise was about?But in a way...I am glad that I didnt.What if it was some cracked out person with a gun?Or someone who can over power me which isnt hard to do.And when I get scared...I freeze,my legs buckle and I shake,what would of happened if I walked in on this person...people..
while they were looking for whatever they were looking for?And my dogs were going so nuts.I am scared.My neighborhood SUCKS.Crack sucks.I told my mother that I will be getting out my gun,I cant shoot it,wont even put bullets in it,but if needed...I will pistol whip some mother fucker.The stun gun WILL be in my car by tomorrow morning,and the pepper spary will be back in my coat pocket along with the one on my key chain.I am not taking any chances anymore.A while ago...not to far from where I live,a mother and daughter got killed....their dog got duct taped up.It could have been me.And here I was this morning....listening to the pounding noise,listening to the dogs go nuts...and I didnt do a damn thing.

I left Verns tonight.Made sure that he was sleeping before I left.I wanted to make sure that the parents were okay.I wanted to be home tonight to make sure.And I didnt feel right walking into my back yard...I even had my key out waiting for someone to get me.I should not haveto feel like that.I am scared to be home right now...even though I know the parents are downstairs and that if the dogs hear something...that they will bark,and I will know that something is up,but yet,I am scared to be here.I am scared to sleep without a light on.I am scared to come home at night and I am scared to be alone....yet I didnt want to leave the parents alone.This world is crap.And most of the people in it are crap.I am thankful though.Thankful that nothing was taken.Thankful that I was jot taken.Thankful that it turned out the way it did when it couldve turned out much worse.

1:31 a.m. - 2005-11-18

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