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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wrecking ball I am no longer angry...I don't stay angry for long,at myself or others. Instead now?I just wish to cry and self medicate myself to wait for this war to be over.Because it was my fault.I shouldn't have done it.I should have just left shit alone.It was fine that way.Not knowing.Not caring to know.Not having to hold it in.FOREVER.But I cant be fine for long periods of times.I cant be happy for months on end.I screw myself up.Thinking things and looking at things differently than what most would think or see.I am not one of those normal people.When something bothers me I medicate or hide.It never goes away but hiding it to me makes it heal faster.Does it really though?I mean,its always there....is that healing?You can not fix something when people don't know.Im very disappointed in myself.And I do believe that my whole life has been set up for failure.And because I am still living...there still shall be failure.Im so good at it ,why stop now? 3:29 p.m. - 2014-03-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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