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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just shit I have been thinking lately of Josh coming into town and how things will go.I miss him very much,but yet he was more Kyles friend then mine,but then again,he is my best friend right now.He is the only person I share everything with and I feel okay doing that with him.Its weord.Like theres a connection there,like he understands how I am so he never says anything about what I write about in my letters to him.And its cool like that.I think about him daily.I think about what it would be like if he was here and what good friends we would be.He is my only "REAL"friend and I know that when he goes back to California,I am going to miss him very much.You dont find alot of people that you can talk to now a days.I got pretty trashed on wedensday.I smoked one with Tadd and then we went to Buckets......not a good idea.I have bruises on my elbows from leaning over the bar all night.And I had no clue that I gave Amanda a lapdance.I mean,yeah its funny and all,but its not.I was wasted.So wasted that I did not remember anything really.I woke up with chicken strips beside my head.I hate it when I get that wasted,and I sure did that night.I went into work and my boss was telling me things and I felt like an idot.I guess thats what alcholics feel like everyday.I dont know.I dont really consider myself one.I just know that when I do go out,its to get fucked up,and that sucks.Thank god,I now have rides home and shit.I would never drive drunk anymore.I would walk before I did that.So the wonderful holidays are coming and I hate it already.I told Ty we would put the Christmas crap up this weekend,I dont want to but haveto.God,last year,Kyle was so mad about his tree cuz it was so difficult to get it in his door and stuff so he didnt want to decorate it,so I did it for him,and its just not the fucking same this year,but then again,what is? 11:09 p.m. - 2003-12-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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